The Adventure of the Missing Cavailer
by Tealxfire
Summary: The Adventure of the Missing Cavalier is a detective short story I wrote in high school. And I really want some chapter by chapter feed back. I'm posting it all at once and then the last chapter is an analysis I was required to write. I really hope you like it, please leave all comments: good, bad, grammatically corrections, whatever! (":
1. Chapter 1

The Adventure of the Missing Cavalier

1

Nothing has been happening. Not a single crime. No thefts, murders, ransoms, or any notable mysteries. Since when has 1881 London become so ordinary? And ordinary meant boring for the Inspector. And when he became bored, he got antsy. And these never mixed well with the Inspector; he becomes so very desperate for a mystery that he'd look high and low for any crime. I just recently began tagging along with the Inspector, barely a month ago. He owned a little detective office off Baker Street and got work from time to time. He was always alone and usually carried on his detective work as so with the exceptions of passing comrades. But then one day, he introduced himself to me and ever since I've gone along with him and his adventures.

It was an early Saturday and the Inspector and I treaded across a moderately crowded street. Passing us by were business men off to work, children rushing to school, and the paperboys handing out morning newspapers like hotcakes, obviously containing some breaking news that I knew without a doubt the Inspector would get us involved. I looked over at the Inspector and already his gloomy expression of boredom was lighting up and becoming more alive.

"I wonder what is causing all this shambolic commotion," I questioned as we picked up a loose newspaper off a bench.

The Inspector turned it over to the front page and a smirk spread wide across his face, "How exciting, indeed! The Annual Battersea Show has certainly snuck up on me!"

He began to chuckle and smoke his pipe as I took the paper away from him and read the headline.

**BATTERSEA'S PRIZED PUP STOLEN**

"Battersea? The dog show competition?"

"Precisely so! The famous Cavalier King Charles Spaniel has won the past four challenges and has entered in for his fifth and final performance, but apparently he has gone missing. And it seems the contestants were much more eager to participate this year than any other."

"Why's that?"

"Well, you see, originally the prize at the end is a mere £3.000, but this year has risen to a smacking £30.000! How fascinating!"

"Inspector, since when have you known so much about dog shows?"

"It is my business to know what other people don't know," said he with one last puff from his pipe and started off, "Come on, let's go see a man about a dog."


	2. Chapter 2

2

A man she was not. Inspector and I stood outside a gaudy house of a mixture of gold, beige and white colors that covered the exterior of the house and probably continued on inside. A flowing fountain sputtered out water and was in the shape of a naked woman or mermaid or a mixture of both. A lanky woman stood in front of us dressed in a revealing evening gown with not an ounce of shame on her ghostly face. With a roll of her eyes she ushered us in. Immediately we laid eyes upon a large painting of the renowned cavalier in the center of the entrance.

She faced us squarely with her hands on her hips, "Evelyn May. You may refer to me as Ms. May. I assume you are here about the competition?" Her voice was raspy but light and every time she directed a comment towards us her eyes would close slightly as if she saw nothing before her.

"Indeed, but more specifically your Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. My assistant and I heard the news in the paper and are more than willing to offer our assistance in finding your dog and the abductor."

Ms. May took the Inspector's outstretched hand and weakly let it go. "That's very kind, sir. But it is of no use. I am sure that bint of a woman has gone half way to Durham by now."

"Who are you referring to?" I asked and the Inspector walked off to the side, observing the bits n' bobs upon Ms. May's dresser.

She signed and grumbled while tapped her heel against the floor impatiently, "That snarky hairdresser. A poor excuse for a proper woman. She is also very bad at what she has made a profession out of. Almost risking the competition with that horrid hairstyling last year."

"You don't mean that the hairdresser is for your dog?"

"Of course. But that is enough. I've given more than enough information for you lot. Now let thee police do their job and on you go. Please leave quietly and contain your wondering hands." She shooed us off and strutted around the corner, leaving us to depart at our own will.

We walked across Ms. May's circular driveway and I stopped the Inspector, "Well Inspector, what do we do now? We don't know where or who this hairdresser is and no clues of what has happened to that poor dog. I saw nothing of use of that meeting."

"On the contrary, you can see everything. You fail, however, to reason from what you see. You are too timid in drawing your inferences."

"Then what am I missing that you have so cleverly discovered?"

That smirk appeared on his face again, the smile of his thrill for a good time mystery. "Take a look at these two conveniently left out papers that I may have forgotten to put back on Ms. Evelyn May's dresser."

I took the papers from him and looked at the one on top. I strained my eyes to read the scribbled handwriting that appeared to be a receipt, "Oh! It's the name of the hair salon. Posh Pups. This is delightful! Now we can continue our search and go speak to the cavalier's hairdresser."

"Yes, we may. Now look at the other piece."

"It is a business card with an address for a Mr. Willoughby Makepeace. Who is that, Inspector?"

"I cannot tell yet. We will have to follow that first clue and ask around for the second."

"Then let's head off and meet this 'horrid hairstylist.'"


	3. Chapter 3

3

The two of us arrived at the hair salon, Posh Pups, and opened the glass door and a bell announced our presence.

A short, plump woman dressed all in brown tapped over to us in a fast pace. "Welcome to Posh Pups. I'm sorry to say, but we don't accept walk-ins and especially will not today! The annual Battersea Show is tomorrow and we have put the competitors to the top of our list today."

"Greetings. No need for distress. We are not here for an appointment, but to speak to one of your employees. We are investigating the missing cavalier case."

"Oh, you mean for Ms. May's dog. The dog's usual stylist is Joy Flynn. She is taking another… a breather right now but you will find her just through those back doors, sir."

The Inspector nodded his appreciation towards the woman and we walked out the back. Joy Flynn was a small woman everywhere except her stomach. We found her sitting on a bench, eating, but when she saw us, she stood and put down her meal and wiped her face. One hand on her back, supporting her weight and the other covering her stomach, she peered at us with a questioning look.

"May I help you people?"

I stepped forward and introduced myself and the Inspector, shaking her hand, "We are here because we heard from Ms. May that you are her missing dog's hairdresser. And we were wondering if you could tell us anything you know to help us."

Her face turned pink and she stuttered over her words, "I-I had nothing to do with it! I didn't steal the dog, I swear it!"

Inspector put a calming hand on her shoulder and ushered her to sit, "Do not fret. I know without hesitation, you are completely innocent."

Her worry lines disappeared, "Well then ask away, I am an open book."

"How often does Ms. Evelyn May bring her cavalier to you?"

"She has a reoccurring scheduled appointment every Tuesday and Saturday," she grimaced and looked down at her hands, "But, I am assuming if her dog is returned to her, she will find another hairstylist."

"Hum. And did you notice anything suspicious the last time she brought in her dog?"

"No." Then she tilted her head and thought back harder, "Well actually, a few minutes after Ms. May dropped off her dog and left, a man came in to pick up his own dog. He was a new customer and it was said that he would be a new competitor this year in the top choices. But the odd thing was that he didn't leave for a while after he received his dog. And he sat there watching me work on Ms. May's dog. I didn't think much of it at the time."

The Inspector glowed, "Do you recall his name?"

She sat quietly, thinking and then perched up, "Yes! I believe his name was Hatch Tompkins."

"Thank you for your assistance. That is all." We took turns shaking her hand and the Inspector directed me out towards the building in a spritely manner.

Before we vacated Posh Pups, the Inspector stopped to ask the lady from earlier a quick question, "Thank you for your help earlier, but we have one last inquiry. Do you know of a Willoughby Makepeace?"

She made a face of overly shock, "Of course I do! Do you believe me to be completely unprofessional and clueless?"

The Inspector and I said nothing and waited for her to continue. "Willoughby Makepeace is the man behind the curtain, the producer of the Battersea's Dog Show! My word, you must have no respect for my business."

And before the woman with a pug-like appearance continued on with her rant, we nodded our goodbyes and turned for the door.

Once we were out of the building and heading to the Inspector's next destination, I asked, "Inspector, how did you know with complete certainty that that girl was innocent? She could have taken the dog. It did disappear on her watch."

"Elementary, my dear!" He took in my sullen expression and backtracked, "It is perhaps less suggestive than it might have been. Well, as you may have noticed, she was with child, and pregnant women are warned of not exerting too much energy and the risk of having a pet with a newborn baby. But the more alibiing trait of hers that caused me to come to that positive conclusion is her fear of dogs."

"Her what? But she's a hairdresser for dogs!"

"I cannot tell you for certain of why she became a dog stylist, if it was a currency issue, or if it was the only hairstyling job available at that moment, or both. But I can with confidence, tell you that her fear of dogs have affected her work, but also proven her innocence. As you heard from the lady in Posh Pup, she revealed that Ms. Joy Flynn takes any opportunity she has to leave the salon and go on break, most likely with the intent to calm her anxiety of all the animals. And then we heard from Ms. Evelyn May of her troubling hairstyling on the dogs, obviously showing her talents are wasted on animals with that fear of hers controlling her capability. And the guilt she shown when she told us herself that she is losing customers."

"Your cleverness has surpassed me, Inspector. Well then, Ms. Flynn is off the list of suspicions and now we can face the next issue: where do we go from here? We heard from her of a shady character. What was his name again?"

"Hatch Tompkins. And yes we will get to him, but first let us go visit the renowned Mr. Willoughby Makepeace."


	4. Chapter 4

4

The Inspector and I entered the headquarters that belong to Willoughby Makepeace. But our luck has faded, as it was that he was not in his office. And by the looks of the man that was behind us being appointed away also, his luck was too, gone. Before being turned away, the Inspector began to observe a list on the front desk counter. The list contained the number and names of all the employees that worked under Mr. Makepeace.

Once the Inspector finished looking at the list, he returned to watching the man. And since he was watching him so intently, I too began to observe him. He was short, but not too much so. He wore a long coat that looked a little roughed up on the edges and had a matching hat on. But his shoes were an utter mess! They were falling apart, with pieces barely hanging on and a few holes here and there. What a strange way to leave your house. His behavior was peculiar as well. After being sent away by the front desk, the man's face became beet red, and he was cursing and grumbling to himself.

"What an oddball."

The Inspector nodded, but said nothing and turned for the front desk. He tapped the bell and summoned the receptionist again. When the person appeared, the Inspector said, "As we already know that Mr. Makepeace is not in at the moment, would you mind giving him a message for me? It is urgent, so please be quick about it. Do tell him the good news that the famous Cavalier King Charles Spaniel has been recovered and that Ms. Evelyn May has decided that she will follow through and enter her dog into the competition tomorrow. Thank you."

Inspector turned away and sat down in the waiting area of the building. I joined him and gave him a questioning look, "We have not recovered the dog, Inspector. What are you up to?"

Before the Inspector could even answer, the receptionist rushed over to us, "Mr. Makepeace will see you now. Up the stairs to the fourth floor. Walk down the hall and it's the double doors." He directed us to the stairs with a wave of his hand.

Inspector smiled and we got up and went to where we were told to go. Through the extravagant double doors was a matching office. And the large man sitting in the chair was no other than Willoughby Makepeace. He had a cheerful presence to him, but a stern look in his eyes that certainly did not match his welcoming smile. A smoking pipe lay on a rack forgotten as he gestured for us to sit down.

A quiet, yet booming and coarse voice started, "This morning was too quiet. I came into work, checked the reviews for the show tomorrow, and smoked." Remembering his pipe, Makepeace picked it up and began to enjoy himself.

"The news of the missing four winning cavalier didn't alarm you? It would seem the ratings of your show might go down because of that. But of course your popularity wouldn't, not with the increase in the prize money this year." The Inspector first peered directly into Makepeace's eyes before taking out his own pipe and joined in with him as if it was like a peace offering.

Makepeace made a swift coughing noise and put down his cigar, "Why, yes. But it seems it has all sorted itself out with this news you bring me. Would you like to tell me about it?" That was no question.

"A hoax, sir. I apologize for my untruthfulness but it was a quick and easy way to meet with you as soon as possible, especially with the show tomorrow. As you see, that dog being entered in or not determines your future."

Makepeace masked his face, but not before leaking out a twitch of a smile. "Well if the dog is still missing then I have nothing more to talk to you about, and the two of you may be on your way."

"Not so fast, Mr. Makepeace. We have yet gotten to talking about your future," the Inspector paused, "You see, our morning was quiet as well until the news of your competition filled the streets. A very daring change in the prize money, Mr. Makepeace, it will certainly be an interesting performance. Continuing on with my story, we visited poor Ms. Evelyn May, heartbroken about the loss of her dog and she led us to the hair salon where we discovered information of a very interesting factor: a new competitor. If I recall correctly, all of your previous competitions contain only of reoccurring competitors, which did seem a tad odd to me. And so we came to you, to learn of this new contestant. But that does not seem important anymore, more like a minor factor in this mystery. What was interesting to me was what I saw in the lobby of this building: an unfamiliar man with an interesting since of style. He so desperately wanted to meet with you, maybe to tell you of this new dog that has fallen into his hands and how this dog is not agreeing with him and maybe that he might back out of some sort of an agreement he made with you. Does any of that sound familiar to you, Mr. Makepeace?"

Makepeace remained quiet and the Inspector continued, "How about I start even earlier than this morning? Let's go back to a couple weeks ago, when you first sent out the announcement for this year's dog show. Oh mistakes, how they catch us all, all except me. And rarely ever are mistakes caught, not until after a publishing and is then too late. And to think just one simple zero caused all this trouble for you, Mr. Makepeace. To simplify what I am saying so you and my assistant will understand is when you were writing out the announcement no special changes or turns of events were made, just the yearly announcement. Except you made a mistake in the award for this competition, you accidentally wrote an additional zero, causing the prize money to raise to be £30.000 instead of the original price, £3.000. And you sent it off to be publicized without looking it over one last time. Oh mistakes. And the panic you must have gone through and conflicting feelings of either to retract it and disappoint your supporters, especially the ones making your competition the most talked about event of the year, or lose the money in the competition and fall close to bankruptcy. But then it dawned on you, a new idea, a way to not lose your new founded popularity and the money. All you had to do was enter in a dog under a person who works for you and win the competition yourself. And so you did, you got your most loyal employee, Hatch Tompkins, to enter in the competition with a magnificent dog of your own. But you knew you had to do one more ploy. That unbeatable cavalier could jeopardize your whole plan if he won over your own dog, so not taking any chances; you hired a thief to abduct the cavalier. Oh mistakes. And, of course, you would have gotten away with your ruse, but your amateur thief is cracking, and I got myself involved. Oh mistakes, I am personally not familiar with them."

The Inspector surely did amaze me, but he had another effect on the paling Makepeace sitting across from us. Perspiration dripped down his nose and neck and he ruffled out his handkerchief, rubbing it against his face with shaking hands. He bumbled and stumbled with words, "If-if you let... let me get away with this, I will have money to pay you. I cannot risk my reputation or my money, sir. Please have sympathy. I was always going to return the dog to Ms. May, I had no other contemptuous intentions, I swear. Please, sir."

He begged and spit. But was silenced when the Inspector raised a hand and began to speak, "Mr. Makepeace, I have no intention of outing you to the public or turning you in to authority. I am not retained by the police to supply their deficiencies and besides, it is the season of forgiveness, after all, there is the Annual Battersea Competition tomorrow, why ruin a spirited event. But do recall when you face yourself making more mistakes in the future, which you will, that this time I did not let you off free because you are an essential person, you are less than a cockroach, but because I had no true purpose entering into this mystery, just a boring Sunday morning."

The Inspector got up and exited the office and building with me following quickly behind. "Inspector, how did you know all that? How did you guess that it wasn't any of the other people we came across today? We had no physical evidence."

"My name is Sherlock Holmes and it is my business to know what other people don't know. And of course if you eliminate all other factors, the one that remains must be the truth. We eliminated Ms. Evelyn May, because it was her dog, and there were no signs of the dog being there or Ms. May hiding the dog elsewhere, I checked. And we already discussed how we removed Ms. Joy Flynn from our suspects. And Hatch Tompkins was simply part of Mr. Willoughby Makepeace's plan. And he was the only one that remained."

"You are truly incredible, Inspector. But if you were not going to punish Mr. Makepeace, why go up there and tell him everything?"

"My dear, nothing clears up a case so much as stating it to another person."


	5. Analysis

Analysis of "The Adventure of the Missing Cavalier"

"The Adventure of the Missing Cavalier" is a parody of many of Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes mystery stories. This essay shows many similarities to mystery stories, with the elements of these stories and the elements of the detectives in those stories.

Mystery stories can be violent, but sometimes are not. Like many of Doyle's Holmes stories, this parody is a soft mystery, meaning there is close to no violence, murder, or any cynical aspects. A common feature throughout my entire essay was famous quotes taken from Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories. Since my story was a parody, I really wanted to the story to pop out to the reader that says that this was a parody of Holmes even without me writing his name right away. This story is told from the perspective of Sherlock Holmes' present assistant at that time, which is in 1881, before Sherlock Holmes has met his recurring partner, Dr. Watson. The story being told not by the main detective is called a parlor mystery and is used in many of Doyle's stories as well as my parody. My story is a parody of the Sherlock series as it focuses and emphasizes the detective's brilliantness and knowledge of all facts. An example of his all-knowing is when my detective tells his assistant all about this dog competition even though Sherlock Holmes doesn't seem like the type to be involved with something like that and he just knows all this random information. He also repeatedly claims he makes no mistakes. Another common trait that occurs in most mysteries is ratiocination. My detective shows this when he proves that Joy Flynn has not stolen the dog because he noticed her fear of dogs when no one else had known. My detective also comes across as being a lone wolf, even if he has an assistant following him, which is common in many of the detective stories we have read. My detective shows signs that he usually works alone when he discovers all the main mysteries and doesn't attempt to catch up his assistance until. I added in his distaste for authority with the policy that was also in many detective stories and ended my short story much like "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle" in how the bad guy doesn't get in trouble. I did add in one element that briefly showed up in _Rendezvous in Black_, which was not introducing the name of the main character right away. In one part of _Rendezvous in Black_, Johnny's name isn't written until half way through that murder just to keep the reader interested and a little confused. I didn't name Sherlock until near the end of the story because I wanted it to be like his first appearance and having the reader not know of the detective's work before, because this is all before his great adventures. And I never gave a name or gender to the narrator, so maybe the reader would feel more connected with the story as if they are in it and not just watching it through someone else's eyes. And the last element I add was Deus ex Machina, which is very common in detective stories to keep the story moving. Deus ex Machina is a convenient piece of evidence that plops right in front for the detective to find and either get the story started or moving. This happens in my parody when my detective discovers the papers at Evelyn May's house, sees Makepeace's minion at the front desk of his building, and the chance of the mistake in the prize money. My parody is a homage of the Sherlock Holmes series because it glorifies Sherlock Holmes adventures, no matter how ridiculous they are, and his brilliantness.


End file.
